Ten Thoughts You Should Probably Never Say Out Loud

by Thomas M. Pender

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10.)      “Muscles, schmuscles.  I could take this guy in a fight.”

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9.)        “Honey, a size 6?  Seriously?”

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8.)        “Star Wars, Star Trek, what’s the difference?” (when surrounded by nerds)

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7.)        “I’ve seen butt Xeroxes cuter than your kids.”

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6.)        “Natural blonde, my foot, lady.”

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5.)        “NASCAR is for sissies!”  (South of the Mason-Dixon line only)

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4.)        “Hockey is for sissies!”  (North of the Mason-Dixon line only)

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3.)        “Yes, I know how fast I was going, Officer.  Do you know how fat you’re getting?”

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2.)        “I dare you to fire me!”

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and

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1.)        “I really love listening to Barry Manilow, don’t you?”