Posts Tagged ‘loving’

The Aroma Of New Life

April 20, 2011

by Thomas M. Pender

Just a few weeks before my first baby was born, my mom surprised and intrigued me with a rather odd tip.  She said, “When you’re with the baby for the first time, smell it.”  I asked why, probably joking that all newborns probably smell like baby powder and pee.   She told me that, in fact, every newborn has its own unique smell.

With Garrett, I don’t remember exactly when I got the chance to do this, but I did remember to try it.  No baby powder or natural functions could be detected on my infant son.  Garrett smelled like . . . sugar cookies!  In fact, for the first few days of his life on Earth, I called him “Sugarboy,” but this quickly evolved into “Honeyboy,” which stuck for the first six or nine months.

Four years later, when I actually got to be alone with newborn John Christian for a couple of hours, one of the things I did – along with tell him about his family, sing to him and thank God for his safe delivery – was to breathe in deep near the soft skin at the top of his head.  Whereas Garrett smelled of something specific, with Johnny it was an overall smell of spices, like I was in a baker’s closet.

Again, I was surprised.  Not because I didn’t believe my mother, but simply because I had never heard of such an individual element in babies.  Maybe it’s just because I’m a guy, and we don’t hear or retain such information.  Most men might not even care, but I think my generation – and now the one after me, which is old enough to be creating another – is peopled by men who allow themselves to show love.   Who kiss their kids in public, who say “I love you” into the phone, and who are not embarrassed to carry stuffed animals or be invited to their daughters’ tea parties.  This is a wonderful thing.

To those who may not have heard of this mystical bonding trick, give it a try.  If you don’t have a newborn of your own, or one on the way soon, remember to smell the forehead of your sister’s baby, or another in your family.  It really is a wonder of Nature!

Pointing Out Love

March 31, 2011

by Thomas M. Pender

I feel sorry for people who weren’t raised by my parents.  I mean, I know there are wonderful and amazing parents all over the planet, but my parents had special ways of doing things that were fun and loving, and taught us wee three a lot about love, simply by observation.

Back in olden times, like when I was four, fathers went off to work and mothers stayed home to raise the babies, because a family could survive on one income.  I remember eating breakfast together, and then Dad getting up to leave for work.  My parents would kiss and one would say, “I love you,” to which the other would reply, “I love you more.”  As Dad slowly made it out the door, with kids hugging at him, my folks would continue the “argument”:  “No, I love you more” . . . “Nope, I love you more!”

Once Dad was outside the closed door, and audio was suspended, the tiff continued with visual cues.  Both parents would stab their pointed fingers in the air at each other, to silently keep up the “No, I love you more” debate.  Over time, we smaller Penders would get into it.  Debi and I would point at Dad, too, and his pointings began to go all over the place, as he now had three Penders to outlove.  I recall Kristi being there, too, but she was small enough to be up in Mom’s arms, and I don’t quite remember if she pointed with us.

Snapshot memories like this remind me how lucky I was and am to have the family I have.  I have tried to continue what I learned from my parents in teaching my boys about life and love, but we’ve never quite been in a situation where the pointing came about.  We have our own personalized rituals, as all families and generations do, but something so simple and pure as this scene is always sad to lose . . . but a joy to remember!

Lullaby for Trinity

August 23, 2010
When the world is brighter
By your smile
We will hold you
And keep you safe
When all is in its place
We will know why
Our twisting path
Was designed the way it was
To bring you to us
So much love has built
To land you softly into your world
All that keeps you from our embrace
Is Time
And timing
We see your eyes
We hear your laugh
And we imagine your life
And all we need is a perfect place
To bring you home
Until then
Feel love surround you
And hold you gently
As a precious treasure
written by t. michael pender  8/22/10
©2010 T. Michael Pender.  All rights reserved.